Spiritual Sunday! I am the Prodigal Son

We did this Lectio Divina in my RCIA class. I was ready for this one; I already have been thinking about this parable the whole time I've been in this class. I often referred to myself as the prodigal son multiple times silently to myself.

Before this class, I never really understood the message of the story. But I began to realize that I was like the younger son in the sense that I took God's gift of life and turned away from Him and used my gift to fit my own needs. When I began to come back to God, I realized the error of my ways and how I needed to put my selfish wants aside (which is still really hard).

Song Saturday! Santiago by Loreena McKennitt

Her music is so hauntingly beautiful. Just listening to it takes me to another world, another state of mind. It makes me feel like anything is possible. She takes musical inspiration from all over the world, but at the same time, makes the music new and all her own.

Favorite Book Friday! The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud

Thoughtful Thursday! Socratic method of writing

Okay, first, I give up. I didn't anticipate this blog being only about writing. But it is. So here we are. 

Anyway, for this Thoughtful Thursday, I have realized that my writing method has changed or maybe even improved? Or maybe just evolved. I still write what I see. But there is still a point in my writing where my mind goes completely blank. The first thing I do is usually re-read what I wrote, trying to keep the flow going. And sometimes that helps. For a time. Until I get another blank spot. So then I started asking myself some questions. Questions are important. They open the doors of possibility. 

Let's use yesterday's writing prompt for an example because that's how I even began the story.

Writing Prompt Wednesday!

You are pulled over for seemingly no reason. The cop who pulled you over walks over to your window and asks for your license and registration. He looks terrified. He mouths to you, “help me.”

Tweet Tuesday!

As I sat down, I looked quizzically at the man on the other side of the empty chair. 

In a silent reply, his eyes squinted and his mouth slid into a grimace. 

My stomach felt heavy with dread. 

I knew then that I would never see that man again.

Meme Monday! Why are you like this?

Spiritual Sunday! Eighteen people who were killed when the tower at Siloam fell on them

Lectio Divina: eighteen people who were killed when the tower at Siloam fell on them

Even now, we have this thought that bad things happen to people because they did something wrong; it is perceived as being a physical manifestation of wrongdoing. When someone is diagnosed with cancer, or someone is injured from being in a car accident, or whatever, they commonly say, "What did I do to deserve this?" There is still this undertone of thinking that bad things happen is because they did something to deserve this punishment. Jesus says, "[D]o you think they were more guilty than everyone else who lived in Jerusalem? By no means!" Jesus dismisses this line of thinking very bluntly.

Song Saturday! Fat Lip by Sum41

Favorite Book Friday! Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore

The reason that I love this book is because the building itself was a character in the story. The building held the mystery about what had happened to her family. As she explored the building, items and doorways began to jog her memory about the past as well as fill in gaps about what actually happened so long ago. It was a really interesting way of making the backstory a part of the plot. 

Every time she found something new or remembered something, I was so excited and eager to unlock more of the mystery. I was truly invested in this character learning more about her past. I won't go into much more detail for spoilers, but in the end, the knowledge of her past helped the main character deal with the present in a very satisfying way. 

Thoughtful Thursday! Wanting to be a part of a community

Writers, by nature, work in isolation. And I do. But I do want to be a part of a community. 

Right now, I'm still figuring out where I belong. I post daily on my blog (obviously) and Twitter. I've tried Imgur, but it doesn't work well for stories. Yeah, who would have thought an image sharing place isn't conducive for writing? However, I recently went back to Reddit but just for the writing subreddits. The community so far seems supportive. 

But no matter where I go, I always feel like I'm on the outskirts. I thought having my writing on the internet would be the scariest thing. But it's not. No one cares. I braced myself for negative comments. But I've barely gotten anything. Mostly people just ignore my writing. 

This isn't a "woe is me" thing. It's just something I wasn't expecting. I realize that I rather get negative feedback than just being ignored, passed over. If someone has something to say about my writing, good or bad, then well, at least they read it! At least it made some sort of impression on them! But I don't get anything, so it makes me feel like I'm shouting in the void. Not even an echo. 

I love writing, but I also love people reading what I wrote! If I just wanted to write and not have anyone read it, then I wouldn't post it online.

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Battle Royale For Real

In an instant the world as we know it became a video game. Every single person is level 1. A message appeared before everyone. “Kill or be killed. Last one alive will be granted the power of the gods.” Another message came up “Choose your class:knight, rouge, druid, fighter, wizard, ranger.”

Tweet Tuesday! Puzzle piece story

These tweets are a part of the same story. I had an idea to tell a story a little bit of a time like pieces of a puzzle. Except this puzzle is all jumbled up and there is no picture on the box. We'll see how it goes.

Meme Monday! Story behind the meme

I love this picture. I want to be a babushka-wearing, cat-holding Baba (grandma) who don't take no shit from nobody when I get older.

I can just imagine that this is a photo that one of her grandkids took of her:

"Baba, look at this phone; it can take pictures!"

"What do you need that shit for?"

"So I can take pictures. Can I take one of you?"

"I already know what I look like."

"Please let me take a picture of you."

"For what?"

"So I can have a picture of you."

"Get that camera out of my face."

"I just want to take a picture of you."

"You can take a picture of me when I'm dead."

"Please?"

"Fuck you."

"I love you too, Baba."

Camera clicks.

_______________________________________

I miss my own Baba (really, she was my great-grandmother). Whenever one of us would ask about the journey from Croatia to America, she would always answer, "Why do you want to know that for?" Oh, I don't know, maybe it's important for family history.

So this one's for you, Baba. Rest in peace.

Spiritual Sunday! They fell silent and did not at that time tell anyone what they had seen.

Lectio Divina: What stands out to me: They fell silent and did not at that time tell anyone what they had seen.

I relate to that as well. I have experienced things that I haven't told anyone yet. I guess, I don't know what to make of it. It scares me a bit. And I know that the prevalent attitude towards God is disdain at best and hatred at worst. Maybe it seems like a private thing. I understand why they didn't tell anyone right away. I read the passage and I don't know what to make of it. How do you make sense of what you saw? 

When we were selling our house in the fall, my husband and I knew it was a huge change but a necessary one. Where we were living was not safe. It wasn't always like that. It was (and still perceived as being) a desirable area to live and a great school system. I use to think that we were so lucky to happen to be able to live in such a great city. Although, it was annoying when you told someone where you lived and they go, "Oh, you live there?" in a snooty voice because then they assumed I was rich, which was not true. But overall, I was happy there. 

But in the last six years, I started to notice odd things around the neighborhood. It all started with the apartment building that was constructed basically across the street from us. I wasn't worried at first. It was toted as being high-end luxury apartments for all the professionals to live close by the many businesses and hospitals. We always joked that we couldn't afford the monthly rent there. But that wasn't actually the case. We found out only much later that many of those apartments were being subsidized by the government. Not to mention that we also found out that the senior-living apartment building (that was also very close to our house) was now being open to the general public. I think you know where this is going. 

Song Saturday! Aoi by Sakanaction

This song doesn't have a music video attached, so this is the best I could do.

Anyway, I've been obsessed with this band for awhile. This song is one of my favorites. It also works as a writing prompt because the song is about how inexperience is pain. I never thought about it until this song, but starting something new is painful! You don't know what you're doing, just trying to scramble and figure things out - it's hard!

Favorite Book Friday! Mandy by Julie Edwards

Mandy by Julie Edwards

Mandy by Julie Andrews Edwards was one of my favorite books growing up. I didn't realize that this book was written by the same person who starred in Mary Poppins and Sound of Music until I looked this book up on Goodreads. 

Thoughtful Thursday! The devil is in the details

I have a (bad?) habit of omitting lots of details. I have explained in a previous Thoughtful Thursday that I write what I see. So, if I don't see any details, then it's not important. Then it's just fluff. And I realize that I hate fluff. Sometimes, I don't even describe the setting or characters. But if it doesn't matter in the context of the story, then why does it matter at all? But I don't know if it's right. Maybe I'm not describing enough.

Writing Prompt Wednesday! Putting myself in a picture

A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Well, I'm not writing that much.

I always wanted to write an adventure story but I never know how to begin. How do I create an entire world? Maybe I’ll just try putting myself in a picture and see where that takes me.

Tweet Tuesday!

These tweets are a part of the same story. I had an idea to tell a story a little bit of a time like pieces of a puzzle. Except this puzzle is all jumbled up and there is no picture on the box. We'll see how it goes.

Meme Monday! Oxford comma

Spiritual Sunday! Words are powerful

The text is a bit bizarre because the writer personified the devil, making it harder to relate to. It's not like the devil barges in your house and hangs out with you, eating chips on the couch and saying, "Sin is great. You should do it sometime."

Real evil does exist. But true evil comes from people, from inside ourselves. Dark thoughts turn to dark actions. In the passage, the devil only talks to Jesus. The devil is trying to persuade him through his words. Words are powerful. Words have meaning. Words influence our thoughts. You should be careful how you use them.

Song Saturday! Toxic by Britney Spears

I chose this song specifically because when I read Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, I remember the author referencing this song. And as soon as I read that, I thought, "Oh God, this is what she was listening to when she wrote this horrible story!" Ah, the cringe. I could clearly see it in my mind. Yes, of all things to be annoyed by in those books was that fact that she referenced this song. It has stuck with me all these years. 

So I thought, maybe I'll try my hand at writing a toxic romance.

Favorite Book Friday! Ernie and Bert Book by Norman Stiles and illustrated by Joe Mathieu

The Ernie & Bert Book by Norman Stiles and illustrated by Joe Mathieu

I picked this book because I read a lot of children's books to my daughter. Out of all of them (and they are a lot), this story is one of my favorites.

Thoughtful Thursday! Why I write

I finally figured out why I wanted to write:

I want to burst your bubble, rattle your cages, shatter your world.

That's why I want to write. I see things other people don't see. I see things from a different perspective, a new point of view. I see possibilities where others see nothing.

I want my writing to make you pause and see things in a new light.

This helped me when I was going through a suicidal time as well as other dark periods of my life. Being able to see beyond just my small little hell was a light in the dark. It didn't get rid of the dark. The darkness was still there, pressing in on me. But the light made me never give up hope. I clung to it for it was all I had. A hope of the future. A hope for something more.

You just need to be able to see the way out. I see people trapped in their own bubble all the time. Caught in their own little world. Their own prison. How sad it is for people to be slaves to their own senses! They can only see what is in front of them. Nothing more. How can you have hope if you only ever see what's in front of you? There's so much more beyond the horizon. Literally a whole world, a whole universe. I want to give you a peek over the wall you have built. Don't hide behind it. I want you to see!

This. This is why I write.

I want to burst your bubble, rattle your cages, shatter your world.

I want to give you hope.

Ash Wednesday - I need to forgive

On Ash Wednesday, as I receive my ashes, 

I am invited to respond to the call 

to forgive those who have wronged me,

ask forgiveness of those whom I have wronged,

and to ask forgiveness of God.

Tweet Tuesday! Puzzle piece story

These tweets are a part of the same story. I had an idea to tell a story a little bit of a time like pieces of a puzzle. Except this puzzle is all jumbled up and there is no picture on the box. We'll see how it goes.

Meme Monday! Getting older

Spiritual Sunday! So many fish

As he stood by the Lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd pressed in on him to hear the word of God, he saw two boats moored by the side of the lake; the fishermen had disembarked and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to pull out a short distance from the shore; then, remaining seated, he continued to teach the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking he said to Simon, "Pull out into the deep water and lower your nets for a catch." Simon answered, "Master, we have been hard at it all night and have caught nothing; but if you say so, I will lower the nets." Upon doing this they caught such a great number of fish that their nets were at the breaking point. They signaled to their mates in the other boat to come and help them. These came, and together they filled the two boats until they nearly sank. At the sight of this, Simon Peter fell at the knees of Jesus saying, "Leave me, Lord. I am a sinful man." For indeed, amazement at the catch they had made seized him and all his shipmates, as well as James and John, Zebedee's sons, who were partners with Simon. Jesus to Simon, "Do not be afraid. From now on you will be catching men." With that they brought their boats to land, left everything, and became his followers. Luke 5:1-11

If you focus on the fact that the Bible is a record of faith, not a history book, then you begin to understand why certain things are emphasized. Those specific things had significance and resonated with people so much that they felt compelled to pass these stories down through the ages through oral storytelling and writing.

I kept this in mind as I read the passage above. These people, the fishermen and the people on the shore, were all witnesses to this event. The passage begins with Jesus teaching and talking to the crowd, but it never once mentioned what Jesus was teaching. That wasn't the important part. 

The majority of the passage was about one simple action, pulling up fish. Jesus is telling the fishermen to go get fish. It's literally the fishermen's job to do so. What's the big deal? In the passage, it makes a point to say that before, they didn't catch any fish all night, but when Jesus told them to drop their nets, they listened to him and did just that. Through this simple action, that's when they realized they were in the presence of God. The fishermen have pulled up hundreds, thousands of fish but this time it was different, special. They pulled up so many fish that they had to call other boats over to help them. They were in such awe over the experience that Simon Peter fell to his knees and confessed he was sinful before the Lord. And all the fishermen were in such amazement that they brought their boats to land, left everything, and became his followers.

God transforms our daily grind, something we've done a million times before and will continue to do, but through God, there has been a transformation; even the simplest actions can be spiritual.

Sometimes I feel jaded from the daily grind but reading this makes me more aware of God's presence through simple actions.

Song Saturday! Billie Eilish - bury a friend

Favorite Story Friday! The Cask of the Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe

The Cask of the Amontillado by Edgar Allan Poe

"Fortunato had hurt me a thousand times and I had suffered quietly."

From the very first sentence, I can feel the haunting quality of this story, The Cask of the Amontillado, by Edgar Allan Poe. This is my favorite short story. It's a story about revenge and it goes into detail about how the main character lures Fortunato down into the catacombs with the promise of this elusive wine. The actual cask of the Amontillado is just a plot device to move the story along. It's never made clear, but I would assume that there was never the Amontillado to begin with. 

The tightly woven story does exactly what it needs to and not a word more. It sets the tone, atmosphere, and the quiet horror in just four and a half pages. My favorite line is near the end where the main character is sealing Fortunato behind the wall and hears him moan sadly. "My heart grew sick; it must have been the cold." It really speaks volumes about the main character. The reader thinks that he might actually feel guilty but then it's quickly squashed in the very next part. 

I have been thinking about how I can never seem to write a novel. Why do I want to write a novel? I guess, really, it always seems like the gold standard of writing. Are you really a writer if you don't write a novel? I feel a sense of hierarchy in the writing world, similar to the art world. In the art world, there is a definite hierarchy. Fine arts, such as drawing, painting, and sculpture, are held in a higher regard than crafts, such as weaving and sewing. And in the the fine arts tier, are you really a good artist if you can't get into an art gallery or art museum?

I have been trying for so long to write a novel. But when it came right down to it, I really just want to write. Period. Writing this blog showed me how much I just wanted to write and just enjoyed writing. It doesn't have to be a novel. Edgar Allan Poe was a great writer and he is well-known for his short stories and poems.

Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Maybe my true goal isn't to write a novel. Obviously, it's not working out for me. On Wednesday, when I wrote the life hack story, I finally felt overjoyed with my writing. I know my story wasn't the best, but I actually had fun with it and I wanted to share my story. I realized I just wanted other people to enjoy it (and probably go, "WTF did I just read?").

UPDATED Post Schedule

Now that I've been writing for awhile, I want to update my posting schedule. It mostly stays the same, but I really want to add in the weekends. I'm still not positive that I will be able to do it every weekend, but I actually get sad that I don't have anything to write on Saturdays and Sundays. Like I said, I really look forward to writing. And I like having a structure to write in or else I don't know what to write.



Meme Mondays - This stays the same. I would never get rid of my memes! 

Tweet Tuesdays - I feel like this is my weakest day. Not only in terms of writing, but also it is the least viewed day on my blog. However, the 140 character limit is a hard but good challenge and I'm still writing my puzzle piece story. I will keep it for now.

Writing Prompt Wednesdays - I love this day. I'm not getting rid of it!

Thoughtful Thursdays - This is another day that I look forward to. I do want to write about other things besides writing in the future.

Photo Fridays?? Well, I don't want to take a break from writing. I want to write more. I also don't want to get rid of this completely. Maybe this will appear once in awhile when I have a good picture.

Favorite Book/Quote Friday - This will be my new Friday writing. I will write about a favorite book or quote. It can be either why I like it or something about it inspires me. My very first post on this blog was about a quote so I feel like I want to keep that up.

Song Saturday - Music definitely influences my ideas and writing. I want to pick a song and write while listening to it and just see where it takes me. It could be describing the mood of the song, inspiring a story idea, or examining the lyrics.

Spiritual Sunday - Okay, go ahead and roll your eyes at me. But I do have a spiritual side and I want to express that in writing. And it makes sense to do it on Sunday. On this day, I will do Lectio Divina, prayer with scripture. It's prayer by writing, which I find fascinating because I never knew I could do that!